Friday, September 01, 2006

fifteen men on a dead man's chest

Yo-ho, me hearties! Have not been getting the chance to write in this like I'd like- the wireless internet I'd been pirating at home has been secured, and so I don't get much signal anymore. So in this quick fifteen minutes before I eat lunch, I'm going to try to get down as much as possible. Ready? Go!

I'm spending a lot of time and energy paying attention to my chest and being absorbed in my recovery. It's going very well, I think, though I've never really been injured like this before, so it's hard to tell. But everyone keeps telling me the scars look great, and my nipples certainly look great, though kinda scabby and without sensation.

In fact, there's a pretty big chunk of my chest that is pretty numb, along and above the incisions. Very weird to play my fingers along my skin and then start sliding along alien, unfeeling skin. But! It's also resolving itself- I have more sensation now than I did two weeks ago when I first got to take a look at everything. So I'm schooling myself to patience, and waiting to see how things go.

I've still (still!) got traces of the purple marker on me where the surgeon made his marks, and I'm still moving tenderly and cautiously, but I feel good good good when I can go out in just one layer. I'm wearing t-shirts and a-shirts and muscle shirts and walking around the house in just my boxers, and it feels GREAT.

I finally took the tape off my incisions a few days ago, so now I'm just keeping gauze over the nipple grafts for another week or so, and then I'll be free of bandages.

However. I'm trying to decide my next course of action when it comes to scar treatment- silicone sheeting? Mederma creams? I'd thought that silicone sheeting would be best, but I've gotten some feedback saying that silicone sheeting is mostly only necessary if you've got keloid or hypertrophic scarring, and otherwise just keeping them moisturized with a cream like Mederma is fine. On the other hand, I don't want to take any chances. On the other hand, the strips are expensive (eh) and somewhat difficult to use, since their self-adhesive properties aren't always all that great. Honestly, that last point is something of a sticking point with me, since one of the WORST parts of this entire recovery process has been taking the gauze pads off my nipples when it's time to shower- the bandaids and tape I've been using to hold them on are SO PAINFUL to remove! I know I'm just being a big baby, but they hurt like hell, and irritate my skin, and they're ripping out all of my tiny new chest hairs that are sprouting, which makes my skin more irritated, and more painful, and OMG I don't want to have to tape anything else to my chest ever again.

On the other hand, the skin around the incisions is pretty numb, so if I had to tape stuff over the incisions, might not be as bad to remove.


Time for lunch, never enough time to get everything out of my brain. Didn't even go into all of the Big Important Thoughts that are swirling around in there, just superficial things about my chest.

But I'm happy, even if my brain is full, and I'm feeling and looking good these days (I finally look in the mirror and think "Damn, you're looking good, buddy!"

So I suppose my vanity will get the best of me one of these days, and pictures will appear here. If my internet starts cooperating!

Last but not least, I've put up some more voice posts [CLICK HERE], so you can listen to my loooow manly voice.

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