there's a six-pack summer coming

It's days like today, when the 72 degree weather is punctuated with a fairly crisp breeze, the same one that's keeping the puffs and billows of clouds overhead moving along at a steady pace, when I well up with excitement and anticipation about chest surgery.

I've joked with Fleury that she's going to have a half-naked roommate in a couple of months, because after my surgery I'm going to walk around without my shirt on all the time. I can't wait to find out what it's like to live a life without layers. Or rather, since I am fond of my fashionable layers, a life of strictly optional layers, interspersed with moments of no layers whatsoever. Tank tops may be totally 90s, but I'm going to be all about them, and muscle shirts, and A shirts, and tight t-shirts, and going shirtless in the great outdoors. I can't wait to feel the sun on my back and my chest.

And I thought I'd finally nailed down- two days ago I mailed a check to Dr. Brownstein for a deposit, and I just sent him some pictures of my chest to give him an idea of what he's working with, and I got back an email from him asking if I have "considered the 'keyhole'/peri type procedure" because based on the size of my chest, I "could consider it."

Woah. Here I've been operating under the assumption that I'm not small enough for peri, so I never really considered it. But it seems my chest is smaller than I thought, partly because I've lost some weight in the last year, but maybe they've always been smaller than I realized. They certainly seem very big when it comes time to wear fitted clothing.

Anyway. Now I've just been thrown into a tizzy, not least because if I were going to try to have peri, I don't think I'd go to Brownstein- I don't really much like his peri results. I've really liked what I've seen of Dr. Fischer in Maryland, though.

So now my mind is spinning, as if it weren't already. Because on the one (peri) hand, we've got no scars, full nipple sensation, about $800 less expensive, and a whole new set of factors to consider, like that T makes one's skin less elastic, and so it's best not to start T before having peri surgery. And on the other (double incision) hand we've got better nipple placement for a more natural look, but extensive scars, friends to stay with in San Francisco and convenience of being close to home, definite good results, and a $250 check already in the mail.

Holy moley, is my head spinning.