Monday, June 26, 2006

six of one, half a dozen of the other

Okay, I got sidetracked in that last post, so I thought I'd start another (let's see how many posts I can make in 24 hours!) to get out my usual laundry list of changes. It's only been two weeks since the last one, but things are happening fast these days, I think. The changes of two weeks are more noticeable now than they will be a year from now, so I might as well get it down.

Continues to drop in a very gratifying manner. Folks to whom I haven't spoken since before starting T have been noticeably startled when hearing my voice. I think it is a good thing that my speech patterns are the same, else perhaps folks might not recognize my voice on the phone. I tihnk because I have the same intonation, etc, my voice seems less different than it really is. In fact, the other day I had the thought that I think I'm speaking in a higher part of my voice these days in a weird subconscious attempt to keep my voice sounding the same. Because I think I used to speak more in my chest voice, but the pitches that were my chest voice are rapidly becoming my head voice. The other day when marching for the Trans Day of Action, and shouting all of our "What do we want? Transjustice! When do we want it? Now!" chants, I started getting really hoarse and gravelly, and someone advised that we all yell from our diaphragms. I did, and I swear my voice dropped...uh, I don't know musical terms. Half an octave? Is that a lot? It felt like a lot.

Skin, hair, etc.
So I'm less sweaty these days- or maybe I'm just getting used to it. Actually, I'm afraid that's it. I'm just used to a new baseline of sweatiness. As I've mentioned, I'm getting real hairy. I've always been a fuzzy fellow- my leg hair has been thicker than many guys that I know for years- but now the hairiness is starting to expand up over my knees, and I'm getting all sorts of new fine hairs all over the place. Primarily on my face/sideburns/muttonchops area, and also under my chin and along my neck. Moustache is starting to become classic pubesecent boy style (and will be for a while, i'm sure), I'm starting to get a little bit of belly/chest hair, and the hair on my upper arms and shoulders is becoming less like peach fuzz and more like actual hair. At this point shaving is still an every 3 days deal because I'm kind of lazy, but soon it's going to need to be every other day at least if I don't want to look totally scruffy all the time. I admit, right now I like it because I like the evidence that my hair is coming in, but it's really not very classy to be all scruffy-like.

Actually, the most manly thing ever has happened. I've started growing hair on the side of my hands's hard to explain, but you know how dudes have hair on their knuckles and backs of their hands? Well, I've started growing thicker, darker hair along their, especially in that little spot on the side of the back of my hand, and it's just so new and patently masculine that it makes me smile every time I notice it.

Muscle definition continues apace...I'm not working out at all, but I'm definitely as muscular as I've ever been. Kinda nice. As for face changes, I feel like maybe my nose is a little larger, and maybe my jawline has squared off a bit, but who am I to say? So I'm going to give you some visual evidence. I've started taking pictures in vaguely the same position every couple of weeks, so here goes. We've got me on the day of my first shot, then on the day of shot # 5 (about 2 weeks ago) and then from earlier this evening. I'm not really in exactly the same position in each one, but ah well.

Urges, Libidinous and Otherwise
Things continue to be....intense, and on a short fuse, in more ways than one. Some are delightful, some are frustrating. I like being revved up all the time, but I don't like how hard it is to refocus my concentration away from sexy thoughts and onto practical matters. I don't like how quick my temper is to flare these days, but I'm gratified that it remains just as quick to melt away as it ever has. Now that I'm becoming more used to new feelings, I'm getting better at dealin with them. As this blog is testament too, though, it's plenty of interesting thoughts in my brain about where my feelings really come from.


Julian's Mom said...

Congrats on your newly hirsute self! (P.S. embarrassing confession: I wax my hand and knuckle hair, which I do have even though I am a girl.)

Anonymous said...

I like it! Good job. Go on.

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