Friday, May 26, 2006

8 and 1/2 weeks

Last Thursday I got my fourth shot of T- the second at a full dose. This puts me at a solid two months of transition, and I'm starting to see some definite changes, that I'm willing to believe aren't just my hopeful imagination. I guess I'll give the laundry list of changes first, then do some more cohesive commentary.

For the first time over the past week or so, folks have been commenting (mostly on the phone) that my voice sounds different. My mom said that the main difference she could tell was that it sounded like I was always talking in my lowest pitch...that it never went back up higher. So it hasn't turned baritone yet, by all means, but I can feel my voice continuing to open up and embrace its tenor nature fully. I wasn't expecting instaneous, and this feels really good. I think it's helping me pass more consistently in the outside world, too...there's just a more masculine timbre to it these days.

Skin, Hair, etc
Holy crap, why did no one warn me about the sweat? I am so sweaty, all of the time. In situations where I wouldn't have been sweaty before, I'll get sweaty if I'm just walking or sitting around and it's at all hot. But in situations where I feel justified in sweating (excercise, exertion, extremely hot situations), oh my god, do I get sweaty. I feel like I've never sweat this much in my life! Are all boys this sweaty? Only teenage boys? Will this go away?
Only time will tell. Honestly, I'm starting to get used to it some...being sweaty all the time doesn't bother me as much as it did. And I don't think I smell bad, though my smell is definitely changing...becoming more masculine, though I don't know quite how to quantify that. So I'm not gross, just sweaty. But it's definitely one of the more noticeable recent developments.
My skin has stayed in pretty good shape, though. Not too much acne, just a bit around my jawline.
I'm noticing new hair growth, too. I can see the beginnings of new hair in plenty of places, though it's often very fine new hairs, or just slightly darker existing hairs. My days of shaving my face and neck once a week are over...I get a noticeable shadow on my upper lip and under my chin after just a few days. Not enough to be proud of, but definitely enough to warrant shaving frequently so as not to look like a scruffamuffin. I'm glad of all of my lovely shaving products that I got for my Manniversary, especially my Nivea sensitive shaving gel (Thanks, Alysse!)- it's worlds better than the old Barbasol from the can, though slightly less fun to play with.

I'm noticing new muscle definition in my arms and those sexy hip muscles...what are they called? That make a V above your hips, and show up mostly on statues of young greek gods? It's certainly not from all of the time at the gym that I haven't been putting in, so I assume vitamin T is the culprit. Just think how buff I'm going to be once I actually put some work into this body of mine! I'm looking forward to being stronger, and able to more easily accomplish those things which require strength. I'm also just looking forward to filling out my shirts better. Nothing like some shoulder muscle to make a shirt hang right.
My face may or may not be gradually changing shape...I can't put my finger on it, but I think my jaw is firming up a little. When I look in the mirror, I like what I see more often. But that could be just a result of my new and improved mindset, also.

Again, an open invitation for parents, family members, teachers, employers, etc. to skip this section or, for propriety's sake, immediately banish it from your mind after reading it.

Sex drive continues to be at its usual fever pitch, so no real change in quantity. Qualitatively speaking, however, changes (for the better!) contine to develop. I think it's probably a combination of a variety of factors, some mental- I'm really happy, I'm more comfortable with my body, I'm more relaxed, I'm more sure of myself- and some physical- definite changes in my anatomy are most welcome, and are leading to new discoveries, and delightful re-invention of old favorites. I hesitate to go into much detail (a gentleman never tells) but my sex life has never been better, and I can't do much except grin about it.

So I think that about covers my bases. I'm getting my shot #5 early next week; this transition presses steadily onward. I'm hoping that this shot and the next one will deal a crushing and final defeat to the Communists- they'd be scheduled to return right around my next shot, so I'll keep you posted about whether the Red Army makes another appearance or not. They showed up rather suddenly last time, and I wasn't quite prepared for how upsetting it was. I'd known that it would probably take at least a month on a full dose before such things began shutting down, but I'd already started resettling myself into my body in a new way, and it felt rather like a betrayal to be so suddenly reminded of an uncomfortable and unwelcome biology.

That part about resettling into my body in a new way is important, though. I've been thinking about it a lot. But it's going to have to wait til the next post, because it's time to close the library now.


CaptLex said...

Ah yes . . . nothing as disconcerting as a surprise attack by the Red Army. I'm looking forward to the elimination of these "Communists" myself. Sounds like you're progressing nicely, though. Congrats and thanks for the update.

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